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Okay, I admit that I like to cook and I rarely buy prepacked things — at least not since my high-school pop-tart addiction. But seriously, people. At this point, the middle-class reformers are just SO DUMB that they drive me crazy. So let’s just get some things clear:
* GLUTEN IS NOT BAD FOR YOU if you’re not in the >5% of the population who suffers from celiac disease. It’s just not. Sorry.
* ORGANIC IS NOT BETTER FOR YOU, as multiple studies have shown — including studies run by independent organizations AND pro-organic organizations.
* CHEMICALS ARE NOT BAD FOR YOU. Again, sorry. You know what’s a chemical? “Citric acid” — i.e. concentrated lemon juice. Acetic acid — i.e. vinegar. AIR. WATER.
… and so on, and so forth.
Seriously, people. Take a chemistry class, take a biology class, and come back when you’ve cleared your heads. And once you actually KNOW something, I won’t be that upset when you choose an apple over cheetos.


Try this simple test. Say the following out loud: Artificial colors and flavors. Pesticides. Preservatives. High-fructose corn syrup. Growth hormones. Antibiotics. Gluten. Genetically modified organisms.

If any one of these terms raised a hair on the back of your neck, left a sour taste in your mouth, or made your lips purse with disdain, you are part of Big Food’s multibillion-dollar problem. In fact, you may even belong to a growing consumer class that has some of the world’s biggest and best-known companies scrambling to change their businesses.

Lest you think this is hyperbole, consider the commentary in February at the Consumer Analyst Group of New York conference, the packaged-goods industry’s premier annual gathering.

“We look at our business and say, ‘How can we remake ourselves?’ ” said Richard Smucker, CEO of his family’s namesake jelly giant [fortune-stock symbol=”SJM”]. A second exec—this one at ConAgra [fortune-stock symbol=”CAG”], which owns…

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